Letter
arrived. It’s one that’s not much different than the letters many
of us receive far more often than we should. Some lending company
that most of us would never have heard of except that they sent
a letter just like this a few months ago.
Wasn’t
interested then.
Not
interested now.
But
this one seemed extra slimy. Something just didn’t fit.
On
it was sticky note from Big Simon.
Really,
that’s the way he signed the authentically simulated-hand-written
fake additional note. Big Simon. And, with that flourish of familiarity,
I felt the warning signs even more deeply than usual that someone
was trying to take advantage of me.
(I
should probably add a note of my own here. Some names—like “Simon”—may
have been changed from the original. I did receive a letter, with
a sticky note, offering a special financial offer, just as I said
I did. But in stating my opinions here, I don’t want Big Simon
thinking I’m attacking him personally. Or Big Gary, Big Joe, Big
Oscar, Big Victor or Big Whoever.)
Look,
I’m all for casual conversations between friends. Love that. Nothing
I enjoy more than getting past some of the formalities, feeling
comfortable, and enjoying some good company.
And
over the years, I’ve certainly known my share of Big and Little
whoever it may be. It usually involves a father and son kind of
arrangement. Big for the father and little for the son. We all
know a Big Tom and Little Tom, or Big Bill and Little Bill, or
whatever variation may be in your family or living on your street.
But
when you’re approaching me to consider business, don’t come at
me with undeserved tones of friendship and then put really small
print on the back side of the page as a disclaimer that voids
everything you promised on the front. If you need to protect yourself
from potentially appropriate misunderstandings and accusations,
I’m getting the feeling I might need to find some safety and security
for myself as well.
That
doesn’t speak friendship, does it Big Simon?
These
places write to us all the time. They twist the rules for obtaining
information in their favor and then reach out about our mortgage,
car loan, credits cards, personal loans and more. They send out
shotgun blasts of offers, hoping just a handful of us will respond.
But rather than going into big details this time—we’ve actually
made fun of this before, just not from someone like Big Joe specifically—I
just want to roll my eyes and find the shredder.
Eye
roll? Why?
Because
virtually all of the ones I get say something along the same lines.
•
Act now, it’s really important you do, because if you don’t
act now nothing will happen. (Yup. Bells. Whistles. Increase
the urgency with a slightly larger font, maybe in a different
color, perhaps bold and underlined, ACT NOW
or in three months we’ll ask you to act now again.)
•
We’ll pay off the rest of your car loan. (Provided, of course,
that you give us your car. Likely in a way that means you’ll
still have a bill to pay every month.)
Here’s
a little disclaimer of my own. Not every place that can work with
you on financial matters is doing so in a negative way. Some are
legitimate and quite reputable. Some of them are doing fine work,
and they are helping out a lot of people. Debt settlement and
debt consolidation, as examples, can be important actions for
some to consider. There are companies that want to work with you,
perhaps loan you money, and possibly assist in adjusting your
personal situations.
Maybe
you are looking to take action. If you have a car, want a different
car, and can get good value for the car you have, a little research
could be a good thing for you.
Something
I learned long ago though is this: follow the money. In a more
detailed offering based on that slogan, if something unexpectedly
approaches you with an offer, the first question you should ask
yourself is what their motivation is in contacting you. Crazy
thing, they might be approaching you because they see some financial
benefits on their side of the transaction. Big Simon, smiling
and kind with his scribbled note, just might care more about his
own interests than yours.
My
advice? If you need assistance in any way, do your homework. Check
to find the places that will work with you in what starts from
a more mutually beneficial foundation. Find places you can trust.
I
am not aiming this idea toward anyone in particular, no accusations
toward Big Simon or anyone else, but the reality is some folks
that offer you candy want to make you smile. But there are also
folks that might not care whether they hurt you that rarely approach
by offering you liver soaked in cow urine. They’re more likely
going to be offering candy as well.
If
you are so moved, call Big Simon.
Or
don’t.
Your
call doesn’t matter to me, but I do hope you’re doing ok and you’re
not being taken advantage of. You do you.
Big
Simon may be a stand-up guy. I don’t know him. I’m just not looking
for the candy he’s offering.