I
usually don’t have glasses on. That’s not really a change for
roughly ten years or so. But, having worn them for a couple of
decades, and having not switched to contacts, it is still a bit
of an adjustment for me and many of the people that have known
me for years.
The
other day, I realized I really do still have glass. Even though
I am well aware I don’t wear them all the time and that I do still
have them, it just kind of struck me: I have a lot of glasses.
And I’ve got them all over the place.
To
start with, we need to point in the direction of my girlfriend.
We were out the other day, making a decision about lunch. She
started looking for her glasses so she could read a menu off of
her phone. She put on a pair, but those were the wrong ones. Then
she picked up another pair, but those weren’t right either. And
considering that during all of this her sunglasses remained in
place on top of her head, it was kind of funny to watch the glasses
being swapped around.
(I
mean, seriously, it was funny. I know, she wasn’t looking for
her sunglasses and there they were on her head. But it felt very
much like that as this pair got replaced by that pair got commented
on with they weren’t the ones and so on. Felt like a “have you
seen my phone” scenario where it’s in the person’s hand as they
ask you if you know where it is. Back to it…)
Thing
is, I’m no better. Often look silly myself. (And I’m probably
worse.)
I
have 3 pairs. One pair I use for a variety of things like heading
out to the movies. Another pair helps out when I’m sitting at
the computer and trying to see what’s on the screen. And then
I have some of those generic reading glasses that I use for, well,
reading. Most of the time I’m not wearing them. When in use, they
rotate around, but usually get picked up when my eyes feel tired
or I have a headache.
That
also doesn’t include sunglasses.
Unfortunately,
I have begun hanging around a couple of dogs lately. Well, the
dogs aren’t unfortunate. They’re cute and awesome and have accepted
me as a member of their pack and it’s really fantastic. One of
them, however, tends to pick up just about everything. In fact…
story…
I’ll
go out into the yard with the dogs, Emmie and Canasta. Since I
know my shoes will gather dirt and mud in the yard, I usually
take them off and slide on a pair of sandals to walk around. Knowing
they’ll get stolen, I place the shoes way out of sightlines, in
a corner completely opposite to the door we used to go outside.
I have watched—MULTIPLE times—as Canasta has bolted back
in, past the door and into the living room, not a pause in her
stride, only to turn around at the far side of the room with one
of my shoes in her mouth.
It’s
impressive enough that I never see her within ten feet of my sneakers.
Not even a head fake in their direction. Round of applause on
that one, Canasta. But the really great part is she always does
a victory lap around the room with them. When she turns around
she looks right at me, I swear with the edges of her mouth curling
up into a smile, as if she’s trying to say: “So, how about that,
what do you think, huh, huh, impressed?” (And, I am. I really
am.)
What
didn’t impress me was when she managed to get ahold of my glasses
last night. You know, because of course, the ones she grabbed
were the most expensive of the ones I use.
But
it’s really my fault. I know she’s a chewer. I know she likes
finding great things to chew on. (Fortunately, the other day.
I also know that we didn’t have the Powerball numbers for that
drawing. That’s a totally different “what do you have” Canasta
story though.) To say I was stunned that she had my glasses would
be a lie. As with just about anything and everything in the home,
it feels sometimes it’s more a question of when she will chew
on something rather than if she will.
Ten
years ago, I stopped wearing glasses all day long. The optometrist
is not recommending bifocals or such for me. Two different prescriptions
though. And, when my eyes feel tired and I’m looking for the right
pair, apparently I should be asking the dog if she’s seen them.
One
good thing about all of it, at least so far when I need to find
my glasses, I have been picking up the right pair. But I get the
feeling that the more pairs I add to the rotation, the less time
I’ll be able to make that brag.
(Right
now though, it’s a gorgeous afternoon and I have errands to run.
Has anyone seen Canasta? I think she’s the last one that had my
sunglasses.)