I think I hate them most because…

 

Mail arrived.

Nothing unusual there, since the mail arrives six days a week. But every so often, mail causes me to swear under my breath. And, in a way, that swearing in the past few days may have brought about the realization of why I hate some of this telemarketing stupidity so much.

It’s the work.

I don’t want the special only for me cable television offer. I don’t want the custom designed life insurance offer. But there they were. Two pieces of mail from yesterday and today and I’m swearing.

Inside the envelopes were letters and materials outlining each offer. But more importantly, showing names and addresses and more. Stuff with enough detail that it really feels like it should be shredded and not just tossed. They haven’t given me an offer. They’ve given me a chore.

When the no-name involved, current resident label offers arrive for a local food establishment it’s not that big a deal. I either go there and possibly save the coupons, or I don’t and can safely toss them in the trash. No need to worry about the label, since it’s a fairly safe assumption that there’s a current resident using any address.

But this isn’t a blank no-name involved offer or two. And depending on the company involved and the pitch presented, there are certain details that aren’t that difficult to figure out.

It doesn’t take much for a marketing department to make educated guesses on things. Rather than being too scattershot, let’s not suggest that assuming a home has a Netflix subscriber could garner you a match in one out of four homes. We won’t explore how offers only need to make a handful of connections to get a few inquiries in response. Let’s go this route…

* Open a search engine of your choice

* Type in your home address

Even if you live in an apartment, I would wager that a ton of results came back. Most of the leading ones will be from real estate sites, such as Zillow and Trulia and so on. If you head over to some of those sites, chances are really good you will find some lovely photos of the place. (Seriously, even if you didn’t post them, there they are. Did the previous owners have an on-line listing? Then enjoy the slideshow of your home. And even if it’s been some time since the home was last on the market, and the interior shots aren’t there, chances are that some Google image from the street is (along with link to a map).)

With just a small… really small… amount of research and you can see the number of bedrooms in the house. A bit more, and you could see what type of heating and cooling systems the home uses.

Do you have an oil tank in your basement? A propane tank in your yard? Do you use electricity for everything? Even for a location where I have never been within 500 miles, give me an address and I can dramatically improve my odds of answering questions like these correctly.

On the surface, small details and not massively important information. But how many fake psychics start out a successful show by only guessing that someone in your life has a name that begins with the letter M?

The information is out there. And while it might not confirm the most personal of details, it could be enough to have you biting your lip, raising an eyebrow and taking a deep breath.

Which brings me back to my driveway, emptying the mailbox, and swearing.

A phone company doesn’t need to be brilliant to assume that you and I use AT&T, Verizon, or T-Mobile as a cellular service provider. And that authorization number in the offer seems to indicate they’re keeping records of my information.

Technology has reached a point where more information than ever is available, easily stored, and quickly obtained. Even more will be available and stored tomorrow. I could shred forever and never scrub it clean.

But that won’t stop me from trying. One unrequested, unwanted and frustrating piece of junk mail at a time.

 

If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail me at Bob@inmybackpack.com