Many
of you may be aware—marginally aware, not understanding any of
the deeper science aware—of the idea that there are theories being
proposed that involve multiple universes.
Some
of you may be aware—marginally aware, I don’t know if there even
is any deeper science aware—of the ideas that involve not just
multiple universes, but multiple each of us living a different
life in each different universe.
This
past holiday season, I believe I may have lived inside of a whirlwind
of proof that multiple universes do exist.
The
central element of my proposed though untested theory is based
on the multiple levels of holidays and holiday item sales. For
instance…
One
part of this could be understood by the example of Halloween and
Valentine’s Day candy. If you are an incurable craver of peanut
butter cups and don’t mind a peanut butter cup shaped like a pumpkin
or a heart any day of the year, then November 1st and February
15th are quite literally two of the greatest dates for you on
the calendar. For on those days, at stores across our great country
(and likely around the world), there is a potentially unlimited
supply of peanut butter cups available at a discount of 50% or
more.
Much
of this phenomenon is created because we’ve become quite an interesting
society, often more inclined to dispose and give away rather than
package and save. Stores would rather sell something at 80% off,
get something for it and get it off their hands than take those
boxes of plastic Easter eggs or Christmas ornaments and stack
them somehow in a warehouse to sell at full price in ten or eleven
months.
Anyway…
level one… the day after sales… November 1st… December 26th… February
15th… you get the idea, yes? Good.
Level
number two involves places like Michaels, Hobby Lobby, A.C. Moore
and so on. Craft stores. More specifically, the ability to decorate
yourself stores.
Places
in this level do indeed have some sales the day after a holiday,
but more accurately they are always operating about one holiday
ahead. Thanksgiving decorations are being broken down and Christmas
put up around Halloween… Christmas decorations are being broken
down and Valentine’s Day put up around Thanksgiving… Valentine’s
Day decorations are being broken down and spring/Easter put up
around Christmas… and can see the basic routine involved, even
if the specifics are slightly adjusted from this.
And
when it comes to the theory, think of it this way: You decorate
your house for the holiday run in advance of it. By the time the
calendar reflects something between December 10th and 15th, you’ve
already finished decorating for Christmas. You aren’t looking
for any more do-it-yourself craft projects. The wreaths are placed.
The plastic Santa faces are lit.
So…
level two… the day hasn’t arrived yet, but you’re done buying
for it.
That’s
pretty much enough for now. You can already see two vastly opposed
ideas for the sale of holiday items. One is based on the day having
passed, with inventory remaining. One is based on the day no longer
generating sales, with retail inventory not being replaced.
There
are more levels. There are those people heading out on December
24th to do their holiday shopping for gift giving. There are the
massive circle the calendar days, such as for Friday after Thanksgiving
sales. We could create a dozen or more solid arguments for a variety
of levels. But the main two work for now.
Most
of you know about ComplemenTerry Designs. That’s the craft stuff
Terry and I do. (She’s the lead designer… I’m the spare hands
assigned to portions of work that are less skilled and harder
to mess up.)
When
you do craft events over and over, year after year, you learn
a certain rhythm about things. And that rhythm includes things
like…
1
- Stopping in Michaels, Hobby Lobby, A.C. Moore and so on, repeatedly,
to replenish bits of supplies as needed during the run of holiday
events.
2
- Stopping in all sorts of places on December 26th and a few
days after, to try and completely restock your shelves and inventory
in a full preparation for the work you will be doing next year.
In
other words… you are constantly moving between two separate levels
of the holidays.
Now…
this is where it gets fun.
This
year I happened to notice the crossover between the universes.
One time, I needed ribbon. A basic ribbon, either entirely red
or at least with red as the major color. And store after store
was sold out with no plans on bringing in more. This took place
over the days following Thanksgiving.
It
was still November, and there were problems finding Christmas
ribbon.
Oh…
I could find red. But… I didn’t need red with hearts. I didn’t
need red with cute bows and arrows. I needed red Christmas. And
the stores were cleaning up aisles as Christmas stock sold, shrinking
the area that holiday occupied, and setting up the Valentine’s
Day items to fill the void.
(Do
you see it? One shrinking universe… one expanding universe… and
all while headed toward the day after the holiday universe exploding
and taking over everything.)
Yeah…
the theory needs some work. I get that. But as we walk in a world
where seeing inflatable decorations for every item noted in bold
font on a calendar, where artificial Christmas trees go on sale
before Labor Day, I truly believe there is a chance that our confusion
and sighs of frustration are the reactions to various planes of
reality. Dividing attention, blurring boundaries, shifting focus,
and, apparently, next to impossible to reside in more than one
at a time.
(Now
if only I had more time to invest in working out the math and
developing the theory. Instead, I need to go find some ribbon.)