The
right way of doing whatever. It’s a funny thing. I would contend
we could build a fully developed theory around the right way to
do anything.
The
general argument would go like this: we are all conditioned to
believe that there is a right way to do something.
Simple.
Clean.
Corollaries
to the theory: (1) An unspoken, silently agreed upon, conclusion
that if there is a right way then any differing approach must
be the wrong way. And, (2) right and wrong are opposite conclusions,
therefor actions that are not the right way must be the wrong
way.
Simply
put: right or wrong. No middle ground.
We
should probably step aside here to point out this isn’t some type
of absolute proclamation. This isn’t a theory of definitives.
It’s not intended to say there’s only one way of doing everything.
We
all cook our scrambled eggs differently… all mow the lawn differently…
all answer the phone differently… and yet the vast majority of
us do a pretty good job of feeding ourselves with food we enjoy,
maintain our yard, and at the same time can be amazingly friendly
and approachable in conversation.
That
understood… toilet paper.
What
is the proper way to load the new roll when refilling the toilet
paper holder? Is it the roll feeding top to bottom on the front?
Is it the roll feeding top to bottom on the back?
I
ask this knowing that all of us understand—even with fancy standalone
models and possibilities of different styles of dispensers—the
two ways of loading the toilet paper into place.
I
ask this knowing that I have friends that select from each option
of loading the paper into the dispensers.
I
ask this knowing fully well that I have friends that are above
and beyond completely convinced that the way they place the roll
in the toilet paper dispensers in their homes is the right way.
If
we look to apply our theory here, then someone is wrong. Both
ways can’t be right. And as anyone that has been frustrated by
toilet paper loaded differently than expected will confirm, there
is wrong here.
But
which is it? Because behind the doors of your own home… if we
only ask you… you think your way is right. And that means we could
have two homes, side-by-side, wrong and right at the same moment.
(Lovely.
We might have a foundation now to debate Schrodinger’s toilet
paper.)
The
right way and/or the wrong way are effectively conditionally dependent.
Some may argue that the difference between right and wrong should
be based on success… in essence, if it works, it’s right… but
I don’t necessarily find that to be true as an overall gauge.
There are plenty of reasons why the theory I proposed earlier
breaks down, regardless of our personal beliefs and motivations
for potentially accepting it.
We
can argue the merits of making our scrambled eggs with or without
cheese, how long to cook them, and what other items to serve on
the plate. None of the preparations are going to be wrong by definition.
However, if you pour the raw eggs from a bowl onto the lawn and
drive over them with a mower, well… wrong.
So,
we still have right and wrong, but now we have middle ground along
with ways for there to be directly opposed correct results.
Great.
But again, not quite accurate.
If
you’d like to see why, head over to see your friends a few times
and flip their toilet paper around during each visit. I’m guessing
once they know it was you, they’ll have some opinions on the subject,
and they’ll let you know there is right and wrong, but no conditional.