Anyone
that thinks nature needs help should really just open their eyes
and look around.
(I
am not saying we shouldn’t be doing more for our planet or that
we shouldn’t be doing better. We should do more. We have to do
better.)
I
was outside working in the yard about two years ago. Paused for
a moment, and happened to look around. Noticed what appeared to
be a branch sticking out of the gutter. Decided to grab a ladder
and clean the gutters.
Turned
out, it wasn’t a branch. It was an actual tree. A small tree.
Just starting out. Still, a tree. While it turned out the gutters
were clean—having been swept out just a few months earlier during
the fall—there was just enough dirt and such along the bottom
of them to allow it to settle in and start growing.
There’s
grass sprouting out of cracks in the concrete walkway out front.
I can’t get corn to grow in my garden, no matter what state I
plant it in, how much I do (or do not) water it, or if I read
it bedtime stories every night. But grass from a crack out front?
Sure. I can grow that with no problem.
Over
the years, I’ve lived at quite a few addresses. In fact, considering
we can include multiple states in New England while also spanning
yards from New York to Florida, the circumstances and conditions
for growing things is pretty decent. And for some reason—well,
some reason or reasons that don’t involve a concrete path from
the driveway to the front door—I have yet to be able to get a
consistent lawn to grow.
(Honestly
though, it’s not just the cracks in the path. I can get grass
to creep over the sides of walkways and paver stones. I can get
it to weave in and around the fences, making it just shy of impossible
to edge and control. I can get it to grow in and around plants
and flowers. But a thick and soft and full, from side to side,
lawn of grass? A lawn where I want a lawn? Not really.)
Karen
wants to get some grass outside. Asked me to pick up some seed
for us to spread. The fun combination of sand and clay and such
in Florida can make it difficult to get grass to grow. Add in
digging dogs and assorted wildlife, and the troubles increase
quickly.
Did
you know that when you head into the outdoor section of your local
home improvement store, then start considering options for the
seed you need, all it takes is to combine shade and clay to pretty
much eliminate every bag available for purchase? True story. Not
a completely fair story. Still, true story.
And
before you send me letters with brands or seed types, it hasn’t
rained in at least three weeks. Add drought tolerance to the list
and understand I am not going to be watering a lawn seven times
a day to grow grass.
I
once tried to grow blueberry bushes in my yard. At the time, two
dogs—Lady and Travis—were in charge of the landscaping for the
house. Travis decided he did not want blueberries. Those bushes
didn’t last a week, never mind a season.
I
can’t grow grass in clay. I can’t grow bushes with dogs. But if
you’d like a tree in your gutter, apparently I’m your guy.
Is
it any wonder that I debate every year about the need of a garden?
Make no mistake, the general garden does well. Lots of squash,
peppers, eggplants and peppers. Beans—which anyone could grow
on a rock (or, I suppose in concrete)—do well. My issue is that
everything always seems ready to harvest on a single day in August.
If I want a tomato in June, the answer is no. Hardly seems right
to invest hundreds of dollars in plants and more to start a garden,
countless hours of labor and watering, and for eighty-five percent
of the summer I have to go to the store to get lettuce and onions
anyway because the ones I have growing aren’t ready yet. (Which
of course doesn’t even begin to mention the realities of the equation
that shows time and money invested when I could probably buy the
entire summer’s worth of veggies that I need for about a fifth
of the price I paid just to start the garden.)
Maybe
the tree in the gutter is something I should have left. Advertise
it as natural shading and put the property up for sale. If there
are lots of folks looking for two sinks in a bathroom, I’ll bet
there’s at least one person looking for a tree in a gutter. Might
be worth a shot.