What is love?

 

It’s a question that has delivered countless answers. Poems and songs, essays and novels. Declarations in front of family and friends, whispers exchanged by a couple.

Love.

I’ve attempted to explore it once or twice. (Or more.) But every so often, a better example that you might not normally share as advice becomes readily apparent. (And yes, good for you, I do happen to have one example of my own.)

Have you ever folded you mother-in-law’s laundry, including a few unmentionables? Have you done it without hesitation or reservation? Just needed to be done, you could do it, and so you did.

Love?

The mother-in-law’s laundry. I stake my claim that folding her laundry is love. Not that many songs or novels about the mother-in-law’s laundry, but it stands as a true test of your feelings.

To be honest, when recently presented with a few chores—and yup, laundry was one of them—there wasn’t a hesitation involved. Picking up groceries or prescriptions, taking someone to a doctor’s appointment, cleaning the dogs’ ears, folding the mother-in-law’s laundry—for me, it’s all part of a relationship. All part of a home that has a strong partnership at its foundation. I do for her, and she does for me.

Let’s pause to consider two things:

First – My relationship is going to be different than yours. It just is. For a long and potentially endless list of reasons, it is different. As a result, laundry may not be your thing, and that’s actually fine with me as long as it’s fine with you (and your partner). Maybe you do all the cooking or yardwork, or you have some other understanding. No worries.

Second – The things I would do for my partner are… well… limitless. If she asked and it is at all within my powers to take it on, consider it done. Consider me in. Not even a question. Whatever it may be.

When was the last time you needed a ride someplace? Like a medical procedure where you were going to be medicated and couldn’t drive when it was completed. Do you have someone that is, without question, your ride? Don’t even need to ask. That person is your ride, and you are likely theirs.

There are plenty of collections that ponder the good and bad of love. I’m not the first person to meander down into examples that highlight sacrifices and actions that involve that things you might not care to do. Won’t be the last. But facts are facts, and for every rainbow or balloon created in the name of love, there is an equal and opposite mud puddle. Are you willing to get a bit dirty for love?

(Ok. Yes. I knew as soon as I asked that where some of you were going to run with it. I agree—dirty for love—it’s funny. That’s why I didn’t edit it out. A sense of humor is a good thing. But the mud puddle remains. Sometimes clean and happy, sometimes messy and rough, hopefully always beautiful.)

I admit, this has been a bit of a tangent. A random meandering of thoughts. Still working out all the details. But I do have some laundry to fold, it’s not just my underwear involved, and when I finish, I’m going to happy I was able to do it.

 

If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail me at Bob@inmybackpack.com